This “Knife Roomba Stabby” Story Perfectly Illustrates How Weird We Are As A Species


Human beings are weird. But we don’t realize how weird because we’re, well, human. So most of the time, it’s hard to judge things objectively. But if we were to come into contact with an alien species, it would quickly become apparent just how wacky we are.

That’s exactly what Tumblr user Sepulchritude showed with their viral post about Stabby the Space Roomba. Sepulchritude told the story of how an alien coming aboard a human spaceship would be confused to see a Roomba with a knife taped to it. Why would anyone do that? That’s a fairly good question. And the answer is: because mankind.

The Tumblr user’s story got over 162k notes and others couldn’t help themselves and added to the story about the unfortunately-named Stabby (who, in some stories, gets promoted to Flag Admiral Stabby). Beautiful. Just… beautiful.

This is a Roomba with a knife taped to it…

Image credits: Dennis van Zuijlekom (not the actual photo)

…and that’s the protagonist of one Tumblr user’s post about how aliens would find mankind weird

Image credits: sepulchritude

The joke took on a life of its own and some Tumblr users went as far as to call all Roombas “Stabby Units” and then explained how their owners ought to properly manually clean them.

What’s more, Stabby the Space Roomba has become a phenomenon and a part of internet lore, with Sepulchritude posting updates to the robot-cleaner’s story.

Other Tumblr users loved the story and couldn’t help but expand it

Image credits: aethersea

Image credits: somethingninga

Image credits: petralemaitre

Image credits: dearthoughthenightisgone

Image credits: jumpingjacktrash

Image credits: roachpatrol

We here at Bored Panda are very safety conscious. So we believe that taping a knife onto your Roomba is a bad idea. (Unless you have to fight off evil alien monsters, that is.) However, maintaining your Roomba, if you have one, is something that all owners should do. After all, your tiny robot-helper can clean everything. Just not itself.

Cnet explains that things like hair, dust, and dirt get stuck in your Roomba and can affect its performance. In other words, your Roomba vacuums less efficiently and its battery comes under stress. And we wouldn’t want that for our lil’ robo-buddy now, would we?

So what can we do? Well, if you have the patience for it, you ought to clean out the grime and gunk that builds up in your robot cleaner (including its filters) after every cleaning cycle.

Then, once every week, you should deep clean your Roomba’s brushes with a comb and other cleaning tools. Don’t forget to remove debris from the robot’s bearings and front wheel, too.

And then once a month, you ought to remove your Roomba’s cover with a screwdriver and clear out the dust and dirt building up inside of it. It’s best to use a dustcloth (dry, not wet) or compressed air to do that. And there you go—your Roomba’s all fit to continue cleaning your spaceship!

People loved Stabby the Space Roomba and shared their appreciation



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